9 Pounds!

Leo weighed in at 9 lbs this morning...with diaper. Without diaper he was at 8.13. But I'm just going to call it 9 lbs. YAY! He really is looking like a little chunk now, compared to where he was at. And the pediatrician is super happy with everything. We don't need to see her again until his 4 month visit, next month. We seriously don't have any doctors' visits for nearly a month. Suh-weet.

I read through all of the old posts here today. What a ride. I'm so thankful that I started writing everything down. It's going to be a wonderful memory for us and also a gift for Leo. And I'm just marveling at how far we've come. And what I've learned. And how my perspective on parenthood, childbirth, etc. has all changed now. I was listening to NPR this morning in the car and the topic was childbirth. The host was taking calls from folks sharing their childbirth stories - natural or epidural? Hospital or home birth? And it struck me that I think we (women, society, whoever) have soooo much judgement around what makes "the best" childbirth experience. And before my experience with Leo I had all the same judgements. C-Sections are bad and are to be avoided at all costs, if you can go natural you should, epidurals are fine but if you can "handle it" you should go without. And the list goes on. Why do we not realize that at the end of the day the focus should only be about what's going to result in a healthy mom and baby? Why do we feel more pride if we go without any pain intervention? Why do we feel like we've failed if we have a c-section? I'm sure these judgements and feelings aren't true for all women. Perhaps it's a Seattle/West Coast thing. We value the natural out here. But now that I've gone through all of the feelings of failure/anger/jealousy/grief, etc. for having Leo not at all in the way that I expected, I've gained a perspective for which I am so thankful. Enough with the pressure to be the earth mother. Likewise, enough with any and all pressure/expectation/judgement around childbirth. It's just so totally unnecessary and all it does is help to make women feel badly about themselves. Thank God for modern medicine and the ability to have babies in all manner of ways. However that baby joins your family should be celebrated. And, when life throws you a curveball and you find yourself in a situation you never imagined, letting go of those judgements is the only way you can truly heal. Readers of this blog with far more wisdom than I will say "um, duh Caitlin" but for me this realization wasn't so obvious. Which makes me even more grateful to have come to said realization. Ladies, it's time we eased up on ourselves. Give ourselves more credit. It's true that our bodies can do more than perhaps we expect. But it's also true that sometimes we can't. And that's OK.

Sorry for the Oprah moment there...but I've been chewing on that one for weeks and listening to the discussion on the radio this morning I found myself talking back to the radio. So instead of turning into a crazy person who talks to the radio in her car, I opted for writing it down. The end.